The Currie's Blog
First thoughts.....cute, kind, gentle, cuddly, furry, awwwwwwww...
When you first meet a possum all these thoughts intrude unexpectedly into your mind. I found this 'baby' in the roof space on the downstairs extension. I first met him, (her, looks like a him to me), while he was clinging onto his mum's back. She would come over and take pieces of apple from me and they would both munch away happily.....
Rule number 1, never, NEVER feed possums in your roof.
There didn't seem too much of a problem at first although the noise they made was a bit un-nerving at first. Then you start to tell people, some laugh and say cute others nod at you with a forced smile then you find your first: 'You need to get rid of them!'. Well after the initial shock you find out they are not such a good idea, you do research on the internet and dark thoughts about eaten wiring and hordes of dried leaves catching fire intrude into your thoughts. People mention the smell and I happily think nope no smelly possums here, must be a different variety.
Now, we apparently have two possums, a mother and baby, (big baby, more of a teen), I took great delight in feeding the possums while balancing on a step ladder. I showed the kids then thought I would tell my wife to have a go at feeding them. We took the fruit up and the possums duly appeared at a distance. Mum then started to run forward towards us, (us, being balanced on a step ladder!), we threw the fruit and mum kept on coming at a medium paced charge ending in a sort of pounce. Although cute and cuddly looking, possums have very large unclipped claws and this display was enough to send us ducking down the ladder at high speed. The 'cute' had been dented. This event still fresh in my mind, I thought that I should venture up once more to take the photo to be proud of. After strapping the camera around my neck and loading up with fruit I climbed up and scanned the loft space. A pair of red eyes looked back me and I positioned myself and the camera for the ultimate wildlife shot.....the eyes came closer and the perfect shot came closer, and closer, and closer still. At this point my brain took over, probably due to recent events, and I found myself descending much faster then I should and ended up straddling the ironing board while fending off a falling ladder....The 1st level war begins..
The possum to your left is the master mind of all the local partisans. Some have heralded him as the 'new possum' but this is just false media output designed to intrigue, his real name is Stavros.
The first thing to do when invaded by possums is to find out where they are gaining entry into your roof. Apparently they can even lift up loose tiles and squeeze through tiny holes. In our case it seemed to be the small hole made bigger by Stavros, with all the tell-tale possum fur around the edges. OK now here's the hard bit.... In Australia these cunning furry things have managed to have a law passed which means that you cannot shoot, poison, strangle or otherwise dispose of them. You can pay someone to trap your possum and then release within a 100 yards of where it was captured and even if you were to tip a bit extra to gain a few more extra yards before the release, the general opinion appears to be that more will come in to take up residence as soon as the property is vacant. You can move to New Zealand where shooting, strangling etc appears to be positively encouraged or plug up the holes.
First you need a possum box. A possum box is a large box designed to lure the possum from it's nice warm comfy roof to an outside wooden box open to the elements and possible attack from renegade possums and the next door neighbours cat. For those of you who have no knowledge of my DIY skill, it can be described as 'not good'. Undeterred I went to the local hardware shops and came back with a large sheet of weathered proofed board and assorted nails that I was assured would be all I would require to make the ultimate possum box. At this point a neighbour took pity on me and told me that someone else in our road had a possum box that I could borrow. I duly went along and begged to be loaned the possum box with the promise that I would return the possum box if not required. (not required! The possums would fighting each other to take up residence). This box was, is, very heavy, made from the best quality pine panels with interlocking tongue and groove panels and a small entrance based on a polyoctagonal design. I am so glad I didn't try and make one of these things. One of my other failings is a fear of heights. The possum box needs to placed high up in a tree and the optimal height is just reachable if I stand on tiptoe on the top rung of the ladder.
Possums are nocturnal. I am not. When your possum leaves at night this is the time to climb up the ladder and while balancing a torch try and block up the hole. No one else will volunteer to help you as this is the same time that the mosquitos come out to eat. Remember that you have to first check that the possums have actually left before blocking the hole otherwise they will never actually leave. Stavros knows this and it appears that there is always at least one possum in the roof at any one time. As a last resort to lure Stavros to his ultimate eviction, I have had to employ the ultimate weapon in my anti possum arsenal....
......Pears. It appears that our possums like pears, infact will go out of their way to eat them and anyone who has them. OK, I have the ladder, the pears, torch and mossie repellant. The sun has all but disappeared and the load scrapping, bumping and clawing noises tell me Stavros and his mum have moved out for the evening. Earlier I practiced sealing up the hole with plastic mesh, designed to keep leaves out of the gutters, and some weird wire pins I found at the bottom of a cupboard... That was in the daylight....Imagine a man scared of heights on a really tall step ladder trying to place mesh around a hole with the only light coming from a torch perched on top of wheelie bin far below, that man is me. Somehow I managed to get the mesh over the hole and by tugging really hard on the wooden eves, ram it securely in place. The mossies have only just started to discover where the fine mist of repellant missed, all in all a successful victory which should easily justify a few beers and the rest of the evening off.
It was after descending to terra firma and retrieving my torch to inspect my glorious handywork, that I sensed there was something wrong with the force. I peered through the mesh while holding the torch in one hand and the roof tiles in the other. Stavros was in there!!! I nearly fell off the ladder in fright, unbelievable...........OMG! After several choice words and deeper breaths I went up to remove the mesh. Stavros was there, smirking, so being far to worried about receiving a rabid bite, I cut the mesh around the eaves and tugged as hard as I could. Wonderfully the mesh came away easily, too easily as it turned out, bringing some extra concrete, tile and me to the ground.
Stavros has now infiltrated the main house and does and excellent job of trying to break as many things as he can while being chased out by me. It appears that he has now moved into the upper roof space and has managed to harass the TV aerial repair man make huge amounts of noise at dusk and dawn and even managed to destroy 2 and a half trees, damage the roof and cost a small fortune!
It began when we all watching the TV, eagerly ready for the latest round of unnerving reality shows, when there appeared to be an eagle or small Pterodactyl screeching from the roof. I went outside to have a look but apart from the screeching and a lot of noise from the big old fashioned aluminum gutters, there was nothing to see. OK well it was kind of good to have an eagle nesting in your roof....I now know that this God forsaken noise is the noise of a possum trying to protect what it 'thinks' is it's territory. Stavros was back, bigger and badder than before.
The aerial repair man the pest inspector, insect variety, all tell me there is a possum in the roof. Thanks guys. I've looked up possums on the internet, watched scary documentaries on removing them and came to the conclusion that the best way to insure the removal of the possum was to remove the exit and entry points, Trees. We have several trees that over hang the roof, one of which hangs over the property threatening to fall on a large stairwell window, effectively taking out most of the house should it ever fall.
Stavros normally leaves somewhere between 6 and 7 pm and I would wait at several different possible exit locations to see how he was exiting the roof.... At this point you may be asking, "why not just block the entry hole?" Good question, the answer is height. Now the more sensible amongst you will know that heights are dangerous things and should not be attempted if there is a remote possibility of breaking bones or painful / fatal contact with the ground or other hard objects. The roof in question is 2 stories high and has 2 small balconies with the majority being a straight drop onto the concrete. I did attempt to climb a step ladder from a balcony to the roof but nearly passed out climbing up the ladder.
Anyway, the stake-out. I would camp out at the window at the various possible exit points and then the phone would ring or some other distraction and I would think fine and it wouldn't be, he knew. After several stake-outs, Stavros was leaving by the overhanging tree. I rushed out there with the camera to add to the evidence file and I was quite amazed that Stavros stayed still and even posed for some photos and realized afterwards that the neighbour's probably thought I was trying to take night time photos of their living room.
OK, so we know where and how he arrives. So I decide I should climb the tree and cut off the overhanging branches. I decide that this is a really stupid idea while a fith of the way up the tree.
Several months later and lots of procrastinating I manage to call out a 'Tree Surgeon'. 'No worries mate get that down I reckon, no worries, cost you dollars but....' So I called another who talked less and will call again. So lots of overhanging branches and comments about the state of the blocked up gutters later we still have a possum.
It's not tree vandalism, it's environmentally friendly clearing. This ensures a safe environment for children and pets and helps against dangers of bush fires, blocked-up gutters and possums! The tree, pictured with Stavros above, leans at an angle of 36.5 degrees, with no lower branches and a nice smooth finish and lots of claw marks. It towers right over the roof with the tips of the branches actually overhanging the ridge line so that it can efficiently deposit leaves in the gutters on both sides of the house.
The 'Tree Surgeon' arrived, on his own, scaled the acute angle and completely cleared the whole thing and took it away for recycling. Found out later that the surgeon is a keen rock climber, which somewhat restored my faith in my own abilities after only managing to scale a few feet above ground level.
The second tree is smaller and situated at the front of the house. The top most branches do not reach the roof line, but apparently provide enough spring to allow a quire large, and heavy looking possum, to defy gravity and reach the roof.
The third tree is the biggest and extends across the lower roof and the neighbours roof. The surgeon has artfully divided this tree so that it stills flows nicely across the neighbours property, providing nice shade and compostible leaf litter, but is nowhere near the roof. Do not be mislead by easy paragraph marks, this was a trial and error process, eliminating potential entry points over several weeks and providing work and job security for our local tree surgeon.
Now the next picture is not for the faint at heart. 'Experts' tell me that the effect of glowing red eyes, from the nastier dimensions of hell, are simply a reflection of a flash light on the back of the eyes. These so called experts are obviously either non-believers or have not studied the philosophical theory of the evolution of the possum race..... I found it's best to be the first to break eye contact.
With the environment now cleared, we settled down to a peacefull life with views of possums in distant trees and a job well done....
...the faint clicking noises are of no concern...the musty smell from our daughters bedroom is not cause for alarm, the wet weather is just emphasising the subtle, yet stringent oudor of possum wee, urine, #*@%!^% #%**....
...no need for concern...